The holiday season is upon us. This is a time to gather with loved ones, and most importantly reflect on just how crazy your family is. I have compiled a list of the top 10 characters you are likely to encounter this holiday, and if you are really unlucky sit next to.
I wasn't always a garbage person, I used to look like a well kept little poodle. I had highlights, french tip nails, department store makeup, and the latest fashions. I ate healthy food and even had a membership to a gym...........then I had kids.
I could eat whatever I wanted with no consequences. I even remember thinking, this is awesome I can just stuff my face and never get fat! (insert jaws theme song) Little did I know what was coming.
While everyone is freaking out about all the recent scary clown sightings (actual clowns, not the presidential debate), I have been seeing them for years!
What kind of monster just walks through other peoples yards! I seriously want to throw water balloons filled with diarrhea at them
Did you know 33% of people do not use soap while washing their hands, and 10% skip hand washing all together? There is a special place in hell for these people.
I wasn’t always an overly paranoid person. Like most other people I was blissfully unaware of the multitude of germs that lurked on money, door knobs and restaurant ketchup bottles.
Only visit these places if you have been meaning to read War and Peace and wouldn’t mind spending most of your day in the bathroom, or if you are in dire need of a laxative and haven’t had a BM in at least a week.